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Overly-Opinionated Political Posters
You know you have them on your friends list. The friends who will absolutely combust if they don’t share an article that infuriated them 20 seconds before posting it on Facebook. The link is usually accompanied with their thoughts on the world and why we are all idiots. This daily activity by them is usually showcased roughly 11 times a day.
In a world of ever-increasing slacktivism, Facebook has become the breeding ground. You’ve seen the type, the friends who change their default photos to Equality symbols the second they see someone else doing it. The ones who cheer with over zealous enthusiasm when gay marriage becomes legal in certain states. They denounce racism, they want to save the whales and applaud laws that allow medical marijuana. All while writing it in a language that shines them in a positive light and says that we are all assholes because we aren’t joining in their crusade. All these things should be applauded, however, it would mean a lot more from the person if you knew they weren’t just giving lip service on Facebook, and actually went out and physically joined in these battles. More often than not, these friends are full of shit, and their posts are more poised to prove something about THEM, rather than the actual cause.
The “I’m So In Love” Friend
Gag, right? We’re not talking about general affection being posted online from time to time. You know, a picture here, and sweet gesture there. But the ones we’re speaking of are the ones who at one time while on your friends list, were single, but now have found the true love of their life (once again.) And lucky us, we get to share in the joy every second of the day as they post about (and tag) their incredible significant other, reminding us that we are all just undesirable trolls who just crawled out of middle earth. It’s even worse when you are friends with both parties involved, meaning their online love fest has absolutely no where to land other than your news feed with great intensity. All you can do is wait patiently until one of them catches the other one cheating, and sit back and revel in the silence once again. At least for a few weeks until they find the next perfect mate!
The Doom and Gloom Friends
As if life isn’t tough enough at times, there’s that one friend right on schedule complaining about how rotten their life is on your news feed. Over and over again, they prattle on endlessly about their relationship, their job, their health, their kids, the economy…basically, everything you don’t want to read when you go on Facebook. Our news feeds are there for entertainment value and for informative status updates by our friends. We never want to see our friends miserable, of course. But we certainly don’t need their misery spilling out into our daily escapism.
The Geographically Wise Friend
You know just who they are. The friends who live in the southwest regions of the United States, usually immune from the winter riggers that the rest of us face throughout January and February. They especially love posting about their 80 degree afternoon on the days of a nor’easter where we are faced with frozen pipes, wet feet and a foot of snow. For them, it’s their crowning accomplishment in life, as if choosing to live in a desert region is on par with curing cancer. All you can do is secretly wish for their central air conditioning system to shit the bed in the middle of summer.
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